“Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space, and in that space is your power and your freedom.” Victor Frankl
Holy shit, I have had a day that feels like it was deviously manufactured for the story I have been thinking about since the last one. I let circumstance have its way with me. I forgot that’s my job.
I can’t even remember how I found the above quote or why. Virtually all of us live in a knee jerk world. I am not sure how many actually take the time to think about the consequences of our actions, before we act. It is always about us and not the other.
It’s funny, we are supposed to be the smartest species out of the millions and millions that share their world with us. Frankly, I don’t think we’re any better than an amoeba. Under a microscope, it is very predictable what will happen to any outside intrusion into their world. In the same sense, I don’t think Vegas would take a dime to bet against how we respond to anything we perceive as threatening. We strike back, without an ounce of thought about the consequences or what caused it in the first place and why.
There is always the lost moment between reaction and action. I sit on the damn cushion every morning and there is nothing more important than an awareness of breath. It is the link between mind and body. It can make us feel whole, even for just a second. Honestly, I am not sure what got me going in this direction.
I don’t know, maybe it’s this distorted idea of needing to always be right. Our first thought always seems to be about us and not the other. The truth is it is always about being just a part of the world and not the only important person in it. It is the pause that got me going this time around.
You know, when you make others a target, you put a bullseye on your ass. I learn this lesson every day and it is a bitch to have it sink in, so I can truly own it. When I think about the things that piss me off, a list that is growing minute by minute, I catch myself mid-flight, inhaling me down to the ground.
Why the fuck is it so important to be right? What is the victory we own? The consequences of this distorted way of thinking completely twists why we are here in the first place. I get up every goddamn morning, sit for a handful of minutes outside, fresh, hot smoking cup of coffee in hand. I look at the birthing sun, exploding in the sky, take a breath, grabbing on to what I really give a shit about. Let me tell you, it ain’t about being right. It is about being present, now fashionably referred to as mindfulness.
All of us live in two worlds, the micro and the macro, with far too much emphasis on the latter. I need look no further than 9/11. I have no intention of joining the righteous chorus of one side versus the other. In that moment, with the obliteration of the Twin Towers being replayed over and over again, we did what we always do, we strike back, guilt or innocence be damned.
On that day and the days that followed, we had time to look at why this happened. What would cause human beings, just like you and me, to commit such a heinous crime? It is happening right now in the Middle East. What in God’s name would cause people to behave like beasts?
We are always so quick to blame the other, whether it is a global cluster fuck and/or disagreement with another. The truth is hidden in plain sight. It lives in the mirror, which we have steadfastly, over the millennia, refused to look at. Our responses have always been completely mindless, blind to that self-portrait in the mirror. Victor and vanquished both lose, always have, always will.
I am not exactly sure when we weaponized God. In so many ways it is absolutely ridiculous. Every believer of whatever the fuck they believe in, don’t understand that God never wrote a single word. Whenever we look for Him/Her/It, we always look to the heavens. If we took that breath and looked to the sky, we might actually get the message. Instead, we cast our vision to our feet and instinctively step on any threat to our status quo.
I had an interaction with a long time friend, who I really like. He accused me of idolatry, because he had read some of my stories, where I reference the Buddha. Man, I was instantly armed and ready to fire back. I was already deep into thinking about this story and the tragic dilemma it attempts to touch. I smiled and shut my fucken mouth. I would not have won any debate with him. I took that damn breath I have been talking about and just let it evaporate.
During this week, I also read about an Iranian lady, who won the Nobel Peace Prize. She is in jail for 31 years and subject to 154 lashes. Her crime was advocating for peace, a word that has disappeared from our lexicon, if it ever had any goddamn meaning anyway. She offended someone’s God, as if any kind of supreme being would have an agenda, beyond advocating for the best in each of us.
Man, I experience this shit everyday. I have become Job The Fisherman. I can’t tie a knot to save my ass. My shrimp bait has fed a significant ocean population of stunningly beautiful fish. A couple of nights ago, I was totally jazzed to take my new rod down to the pier. The new gear was made necessary, because I have been driving around with the rod, hanging out of my car window. I clipped it on some wild grasses, masking the homeless encampments around Ahukini Landing.
You’ll never guess what happened? I took a nice long breath, in and out, and then laughed my ass off. I know I am so incredibly fortunate to be living here and I had no interest in ruining my evening. I left the castrated rod in pieces in my car. I set up and took out my whipping rod. First cast and I lost my lure, pulling up a dangling piece of line. I smiled and immediately thought of myself as Job The Fisherman, testing my belief in exactly what I am writing about.
I just don’t know why it is such a bitch to believe everyone of us is privileged to be here for the limited time we have been granted. We all have control over how we respond to everything in our lives. The fact is, there is a huge difference between us and the amoeba. We can take the time to think how we should respond to most everything, our reaction totally within our purview.
If you and I don’t make a concerted effort to better understand what is coming at us every second of every day, we are no better than a single cell.
Breathe and never forget the other.