You know, for the most part, having a job you care passionately about and not getting paid for it really sucks. As a kid, the dream for many is to get really rich doing something you enjoy. Well, here I am, doing something that means the world to me and I don’t get a dime for it. The good news is that there is nothing I can do to damage my multimillion dollar income, because there isn’t any. Amongst other things, it is a terribly liberating place to be. I can be as truthful as I am capable and all I risk is my integrity, which may not seem like much to you, but it is priceless to me.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg died today, Friday, September 18th, the beginning of Rosh Hashanah, the celebration of the Jewish New Year, 5781. The vast majority of you have no idea about how old my people are and why should you? Heroes and heroines are in terribly short supply these days and the vapid, super hero movies don’t count in the calculation. At a time in the history of America, when we are choking on an over supply of celebrity, for no goddamn reason, this tiny, little lady was a giant. I am positive she stayed alive and endured the worst kind of pain imaginable, because she loved the idea of America. She is a saint, if ever there was one.

I am done for the evening and I will pick up with this at some point pretty soon. I know I was very unhappy with my first podcast at Mind and the Motorcycle and I will be working on it this weekend. I listened to the first one, with a little bit of distance and it is not how I want to sound. Over the years, I have tried to tell some stories about my experiences and my ideas. I confess to having been nervous about the podcast and that is no way to touch anyone. It also feels like starting the creative process all over again, which has been energizing, affecting my writing as well and that’s the good news, at least for me. This podcast idea has reconnected me with my writing and why I do it.

It is now Saturday, the day after my couple of paragraphs about RBG above and I have no interest in going anywhere else with this story. I think about this little lady and what a magnificent person she was. I also think about being much older than most people, as she was when she left. You know, if you aren’t able to internalize the journeys others have taken and to empathize with them, what do you have? I do think about my mileage quite a bit and while the machine is wearing out, my mind is feeling a little more life efficient. I get to where I want to go more quickly.

Staying with the vehicular analogy for a bit, you are kind of driving in an endless circle over time. The view keeps changing, yet there is a growing familiarity with the internal scenery. For me, it is not about the mind, rather it is the feelings. So, I can say to myself, “ I have never seen that before”, but the palette of emotions that I paint the scenery with uses the same colors. The trick is trying to use fewer and fewer dark colors, because they keep you stuck in shadows, no matter what you see.

Lady Ginsburg was 87 when she passed and I am a little over ten years away from it. The less time there is, the more it means, at least for me. At the moment, it doesn’t engender any feelings of desperation or despair. I can’t do a damn thing about it anyway. I know I am less inclined to sweat the small stuff. The idea of time got me writing in the first place and I am so grateful for that. I can’t find the right words, only tears………………

It is easy to look at someone like RBG and feel very small, having nothing to do with her height, but her towering statue. It’s like, “What the hell have I done with my life?” Comparative living is a very dangerous business, one of the many things you hopefully learn, driving in that endlessly, expanding circle of your life.

In the confessional spirit of this piece, I have to tell you it is now Sunday morning, having started Friday afternoon. It is raining and my weekly motorcycle ride with the Sons of Kauai is not happening.

It has been difficult for me to feel at all hopeful, with all that is going on. Then, you have the life and legacy of someone like Ms. Ginsburg and there is a glimmer of possibility. I don’t even know if I would have written this way, if I wasn’t forced to look inside a bit more than usual, because of this new podcast experience.

I am so appreciative that some of you take the time to read my stories. Thank you.

PS: Almost forgot, do listen to my podcast, Mind and the Motorcycle. It is on all the platforms. The podcast this coming Thursday, September 24th, is about an incredible motorcycle ride I took through California and Oregon around five years ago. Tragically much of where I rode has been consumed by flames recently. The one the following week will be the new and improved version, but this one is pretty entertaining.