“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” –Hunter S. Thompson
“It is ridiculous to think that somebody else can make you happy or unhappy.” – Buddha
There are so many reasons why I am not widely read. I wouldn’t know where to begin, so I won’t. I do think writing about writing is dumb as shit and incredibly unappealing. Who really cares about why a writer wrote whatever you’re reading? It would be like LeBron James talking about how long he practices to be so good. Who really gives a shit? Play your game, write your story, do whatever you need to do and just do it.
Well, those are great instructions for everybody else, but me. Years ago, when I decided to write in the voice ZenGonzo, I gave up the rules of creative propriety. I love the intellectual discipline of Zen. It conjures a spiritual road map, with a destination of our choosing. It strives for this perfect understanding of all that is. Without question it’s the effort that’s the reward, because the answer alludes all who ask.
Then, stumbling out of the darkness, right before dawn, there’s Hunter S. Thompson, this disheveled guy, ranting and raving about the lunacy of hiding behind the convenience of sanity as an excuse for our behavior. He was a shoot-from-the-hip, word outlaw, the center of every story he wrote, regardless of subject.
So, these two guys sit down in a diner in Jersey City and they want to see if they could find a way to share their personal stories with one voice. First, I am blown away that they even got served at the diner. You got an average height, grossly overweight, bald dude, wearing robes that looked liked he’d slept in them for seven years. Oh shit, he did. He’s speaking some language that predates Sanskrit.
His mumbling partner is a wild looking dude in a flannel shirt and overalls. He is smoking an immense joint, with a glass of bourbon an elbow away. It’s funny how they play off each other. The Buddha gets a bit more animated, while Hunter becomes just a little more introspective. Interesting how they compliment each other, isn’t it?
Personally, I don’t think either of these guys were meant to be taken literally. Intention meant everything to Siddartha. The clearer your internal gaze, the surer your spiritual path. We are our own architect of the world we create. I don’t think Mr. Thompson wanted anyone to follow in his footsteps. I think he enjoyed being the show, sweeping away the past to just be in the moment.
As some of you many know, I flew to NJ last week and wrote a couple of pieces, while incarcerated in those winged tuna cans. When you travel, you kind of leave your every day world behind. You find yourself living the life of someone else, incredibly familiar inside, with brand new outside experiences you have to figure out how to internalize.
And then, along comes the idea of Moves Like Jagger. I don’t know where it came from and whether I was supposed to do something with it. Sometimes, this means I have to make a story over things as ridiculous as a Jagger related song title. There must be a story here and let’s see if I can do one. More often than that, I bail on the idea, because there is nothing there, nothing at all.
I know the Buddha and Hunter are sitting off in the corner, quietly gloating and laughing, convinced I’m going to screw this story up. Let me tell you something, these two guys are ball breakers and they know what I am conniving before I even do. In a way, it keeps me honest and I like that. It’s like, who I am going to fool anyway?
If you’re in a position, where you can have a style all your own, I say, “Have at it.” If you can pull it off, more power to you. Personally, I have no interest in being at all like Mick, but I can certainly appreciate the persona he’s created and nurtured.
I have been most ages and embodied each time as best I could. You know, you usually get elevated to any All Star team based on your performance. Now, I find that my longevity is all I need to qualify for the BIGS. It has been the impetus for birthing my quiet creativity.
I want my rookie card to be valuable and that’s all about how I choose to spend my time. I think this dance I do between those two personal, people poles is my own Moves Like Jagger. The pull between the two has birthed a voice that sounds more and more familiar to me with the passage of time.
This seemingly disparate choir of choice, has melded in to a comfortable way of being for me.
It’s all I know.