“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”Mark Twain
Around this time of year, either in front of it or behind it, I tend to write some erudite crap about the state of things. Going into ’25, I could have a field day, filled with prognostications, none of them positive, closing with a way to find joy in your own life.
Well, all of that went right down the shitter when Shelby arrived just yesterday, 12/31. I can’t say I am certain why I said yes to having to be responsible for a soon-to-be cat. Over the years, I have perfected a way of living that has very few moving parts. My mantra has been simplicity and man, have I taken it to the max.
If I started itemizing what I have, versus what most of us have, it would sound like I’m bragging and that would be miles off target. Conveniently, I am someone, who gets confused very easily. One of the main reasons for choosing to live here over twenty years ago is that you can’t get lost for more than a few minutes. On my bucket list, motorcycle ride to northern CA and OR in ‘15, I can’t tell you how many times I went in precisely the opposite direction, adding hours to many of my destinations. Back tracking on a too heavy Harley was never surprising, but not easy either.
I tell you, not considering myself a good writer, is incredibly liberating. I can write whatever the fuck I want and maybe a handful of you will stay with me. For those of you with infinite patience and a forgiving disposition, thank you.
Let me get back to simple for a second. I swear I actually have one of so many things that it is probably a bit disconcerting for many of you. For the record, I am confessing and definitely not bragging. I pretty much have what I need. When I’m asked about my tools, I always ask if a scissors counts, because that’s all I got. I have no need for tools, because I don’t know what the fuck to do with any of them. I feel accomplished when I undo a screw top that requires squeezing the sides.
Let’s get back to Shelby. Right now, she is outside on my Lanai, lying quietly in a metal-meshed box that is considerably larger than a coffin. It has a little, pink litter box, which I felt was gender sensitive. She lies on some soft fabric and at the opening are two little, metal bowls with food and water. Now, keep in mind, we have been together a little over 24 hours. I have retrieved her from her box a bunch of times and let her walk around my very modestly sized studio. For some reason, my feet are endlessly fascinating and she keeps wrapping around them, like a feline snake.
I am reluctant to set her free for two reasons, medical and emotional. She needs to be neutered and chipped and vaccinated, before I will even think about letting her go free. Second, if I am going to have a pet, undertaken with great reluctance, I am not fucking around. Failure is not in the cards and I demand perfection. I want to let her free out there, but I expect respect in return. I am either in charge or we have nothing to talk about.
When I moved from NYC to the wide open country of Santa Fe, NM, I had as many as three dogs. There were no leashes, no collars and no shit bags. They would jump into the back of my truck and we would go camping, mostly in southern CO, in the middle of absolutely nowhere. As a guy, who didn’t spend a night in a tent until he was in his early forties, I took to it like Thoreau.
So, Shelby has some paws to fill and at the moment, I am not sure we’re gonna pull this off. I like that she can chill out in her wired environment and not be a pain in the ass. Needy beings of all kinds are not terribly attractive, regardless of species, including humans.
I think 2025 is going to be a very difficult year on many levels. What I can’t believe is the degree of human suffering all over the globe. The slaughter in Gaza is incomprehensible to me and as a Jew, it is even worse. I have said and written many times, it is not my religion, it is my tribe. The idea that my tribe is slaughtering babies and doing so with our munitions, gets me on two levels, as a Jew and an American. The idea that the richest man in the world is going to be setting policy for people like us is totally, fucken mind blowing, too.
You can close your eyes, spin the globe, putting your finger anywhere you like to stop it and chances are, you will find an ongoing clusterfuck of immeasurable proportions. Check out Sudan, when you have a chance and that is just one story in one country.
The science of climate tells a story Edgar Allen Poe couldn’t have even concocted. I am not sure when the idea of a mirror was thrown out, so we couldn’t see what we are doing to each other. Politically, the axis of the earth is clearly tilting to the right and nature is getting crushed in the shift. It is funny, we think we are sitting at the table, holding all the cards and we can’t lose. Four and half billion years ago, the deck was printed and it is marked and nature is holding the winning hand, no question.
Do you want to know how happy I am to deal with Shelby and her kitty neurosis? I realized many, many years ago, I am not in charge of my life and my role is to just live it. So, I could easily be writing about all this heavy shit coming our way or I could be writing about whether Shelby will get her shots and whether we will develop a kind of magical rapport, which would make me happy beyond words.
All of the above was written in one sitting and came out as fast as I could type. No, I am not sharing this to tout some kind of genius, because I am on the other side of all that. A couple of days have transpired and Shelby and I are still working things out.
Until she gets neutered and chipped and vaccinated, we are both going nuts with some awkward combination of house time and outside cage time. I confess to being terribly spoiled, creating a totally selfish household existence. I can’t do my daily Zen sit, with a kitten walking over my lap, on to the altar and back again. My yoga practice is impossible with a kitten running after my ankles. She makes a total mess of the outside cage, because it sucks and I don’t blame her.
I have to hold out another week and then she will be free to roam outside and we can create our own balance. I tried having Betta fish a couple of times, but they met with a premature passing. I wanted other life around me. My home is definitely my sanctuary, but having a four legged, furry pal is not the worst thing either.
Heading into what I am convinced is going to be very difficult time to navigate, having an animal friend is a wonderful kind of medicine. There is no feeling more magnificent than love. It is a singular state of grace shared between living beings and the possibility of adding another into this precious realm of mine, is a wonderful thought.
LISTEN TO IT HERE:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/admin/1292459/episodes/16379204-me-and-shelby