“Life is full of temporary situations, ultimately ending in a permanent solution.” Rodney Dangerfield

Oh shit, not another story about age! Wait, give me yet a chance to explain. No matter what goes on in our lives, at any point, at any time, under any circumstance, experience right up to that exact moment has to involve our time here, regardless of the years. When I write about being older, I am simply writing about being alive. So, let’s get that out of way, OK?

Last week, the idea of losing my Lexus, after eleven years of four-wheeled obeisance was very upsetting on a number of levels, beyond the financial implications. Thinking about buying a new car at nearly 80 years of age seemed kind of stupid, or at least a dose of denial. God forbid, I could see the argument for a new hip or knee, but a fucken car? 

I am happy to report, which I mentioned at the very end of the last story, my Lexus gets to live on, with a very modest repair. I’d always settle for modest repairs in my own life, if they contribute to my continued longevity. 

When I first started thinking about this piece, I was thinking my years provided me with some greater insight than someone 1/3 my numbers, but that is bullshit. Every single one of us, regardless of the years, beyond the age of owning our own ideas, understands the limitations that come with the passage of time. There really are no “do-overs”, because what is behind is said and done, without retrieval, just like time.

Of course, experiencing mortality is different for each one of us, our fingerprint in time. The only thing I know, I likely have less of it left than most of you. I was starting out this piece thinking it was different for me than those of you with a more positive actuarial prognosis, but I really have no right to say that. 

I think what I can say is that if more of us had a better grasp of our impermanence, our past and present shit show couldn’t possibly be as fucked up as it is today. What are we saying? What are we doing to each other? Building monuments of sand is such a waste of energy, when there is so much more important work that could be done.

It is kind of funny for me. The older I have become, the fewer things I truly care about, but I am also so much more passionate about them. Our mistreatment of each other and all living creatures on this earth, not to mention our complete disregard for our orb host, going by our man-made name for this planet, blows my fucken mind. 

Man, I am no genius, light years away from it. I was reading some of the letters between Jefferson and Madison, from several hundred years ago. The way these guys wrote about this new country and the pillars of its foundation was mind blowing. It was such intelligent dialogue. Today, we are drowning in an epidemic of stupid. You are putting the Ten Commandments in Louisiana classrooms! Are you fucken crazy? 

The political rhetoric, not only here, but all over the world, sounds like we are a people, suddenly aroused from our cave dwellings, given all the modern trappings imaginable and still stuck with the power to act out our hairy ass ideas. As a kid, I was taught, or at least given the idea, that we were on a progression, to take us higher as human beings. I don’t know how many balloons have been burst through the millennia, as optimism always gives way to abject disillusionment with the incredible stupidity exuded by our species.

Two men are going to debate whether they are worthy of the presidency of Madison and Jefferson’s vision. It is funny that terrorists like ISIS and Hezbollah members are more inspired than all of us. They are passionate about what they stand for and that is a power no missile can destroy. Israel will not defeat Hamas, because it is an idea and ideas live on and on. Not caring is kind of like a societal crime.

What is America’s idea?  All men are created equal, unless you’re not! We were supposed to light up the world, an example of how democracy is more than a concept, instead, we are sliding into the darkness of fascism. This place was built on the idea of exercising power, over slaves, over women and over the dollar. Two human tools are about to engage in some dumb, fucken rhetoric about concepts neither one embodies. We’ve got an orange Hitler versus a shriveled, old white man, who has been breathing the Washington air forever.

So many of us here, like to think we are the world, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. The amount of human suffering in the world is unquantifiable. There is outrage over Palestinian babies starving to death, which I am not about to disparage. In places like Burkina Faso and Sudan and Mali, the human carnage is incalculable. What matters about those places are the natural resources that can be plundered by the multi-national, corporate criminals, the ones paying for our presidential campaign. The same ones denying the truth of climate change.

The idea of our impermanence is not an idea you graduate into with time. With all the arguing about fake news, etc., the complete unpredictability of our respective longevity is the only truth that can’t be debated. For the vast majority of us, it is a singularly depressing thought and one that is buried under the feathered weight of daily drama. It breeds a contagious kind of denial, forcing so many of us to compensate with the craziest shit imaginable. 

I have been holding off finishing this story until after the presidential debate, if you could call it that, which is a misnomer to the max. When you have a debate, you have one person addressing an issue and the other responding in rebuttal. It is a format that has to be thousands of years old. Instead, we witnessed a man, who must be thousands of years old, sharing the screen with a megalomaniac, answerable only to his fleeting whimsy. It was the kind of theater that nurtures nightmares.

I am not exactly sure where the above fits into this story. On a personal level, I am not sure how I am supposed to deal with the possibilities presented by this debacle. I don’t think there is anything more important than finding joy in your life, regardless of age. If you truly believe your time here is a gift, which I do, then how do you find your spiritual balance in a time like this? I really don’t know.

I value my time here more than ever. Maybe, the answer for me is to keep writing, a soul catharsis. I am not interested in being angry or disheartened by what is going on around me. We are all here for such a short period of time, even under the best of circumstances, and the choice is ours in terms of how we live it. 

I love the idea of trying to provide some light with my words. Hopefully, it is a kind of light that allows us to see each other, embracing our frailties, nurturing our temerity and feeling privileged to be gifted this time we all share.

This story was done with the above paragraph. However, I got up this morning and went fishing, which I haven’t done for a few weeks. The most unbelievable thing happened, I caught a fish! After some wrangling, I got the hook out and through this little, finned rainbow back home. This is a living example of this entire story. I am on cloud nine and that’s all it took. Life is so much easier than we make it out to be. 

Thank you for your time. I know it’s precious.

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1292459/episodes/15330603-life-s-lease