“Doubt everything. Find your own light.” The Buddha
Last Sunday morning, when I followed my obsessive, weekly pattern of posting my blogs on schedule, I couldn’t get on to my site, this very one. As someone who goes into orbit when his routine is altered without warning, I quietly, but with great determination, flipped my cookies. My pattern for this day is always the same, unless rain floods my seventeen year, deeply engrained habit of meeting the Sons of Kauai at the Lihue 7/11 for the ritual motorcycle parade.
I have to get back to my technological Chernobyl, hours before it was time to don the requisite biker gear for the day, including the weathered, black leather vest, with assorted patches, plus the logo for my blog on the back. I decided to immediately get in touch with Blue Host, who carry my stories, which are in the Word Press format. Trust me, I wouldn’t know any of this shit if I didn’t have to. Do you know what happens when you try to communicate with one of the mega tech companies, especially on a Sunday? You go to a goddamn chat room, that’s where you are forced to crash land.
First, I have absolutely nothing against India and as a fan of the Buddha, I would say we have history. So, you go to the chat and attempt to explain your problem, keeping in mind I am a techno tard of the highest order. The first response is always the name of the person you will be chatting with, which could be Prateek or Vijetha or Karthikeya, all of whom I chatted with. Then, you wait for the polite message to appear. It is something like, “Sorry you are experiencing difficulty. I am sure we will be able to take care of your problem.”
I spent around two hours, chatting with five different people, at least I am assuming they were non-bots, human beings to those of you, who think you are so damn smart. I didn’t give up keeping an eye on the time, in order to avoid not missing the ride, but definitely forgoing my ritual bagel with a schmear and coffee at Rainbeau Jo’s truck, devastated I’d miss it.
With great internal angst, I also gave up on the idea of getting my story up when I wanted. I went back to the Blue Host home page and found an email address for Public Relations, a world I know pretty damn well from years of working in and around it. I composed a creative and not too angry email and sent it off.
I turned my back on the computer and left the house later than usual, because there is very little that would cause me to miss a ride with my two-wheeled ohana and I mean it! I was able to enjoy the ride on a postcard day, here in paradise. My story would not see daylight on its usual Sunday morning and I had made delicate peace with it.
On Monday, I heard from Chris E. at Blue Host, a genderless, human presence. IT told me it would get to the bottom of this problem and I was feeling confident. After about a day and a half, IT figured out most of the problem and said the remaining issues needed to be solved on my end.
I reluctantly got in touch with the person, who created this site over six years ago. My reluctance had nothing to do with her competence. It had to do with this whole world of technology and its accompanying jargon. In addition, it has been my experience that every problem in this arena is simple and will take no time to sort out. How about bullshit?
You know, I am a reasonably articulate fellow and now the white hair adds an extra element of a misperception, which is I am supposed to know much more than I actually do. When I tell people I know fuck all about technology and many other things, it doesn’t seem to register with them. It reminds me of the misuse of the term “being broke”. On those unnerving occasions when I have actually been broke, I have really been busted, while so many people are full of it when they abuse the concept. I know I can be monumentally gullible, but I believe what people say and take them at their word. So, when I say I know essentially nothing about this world of icons, emojis, url’s, etc., it’s true.
This whole experience, like not knowing anything about the intricacies of technology, got me to thinking about how there are so many things I don’t want to know about. I don’t know if it is age or a lazy mind, but I have grown tired of learning anything new. It is a never ending proposition, because there is always something to learn, every minute, every day.
Of course, I seem to get confused between experience and knowledge. In my life, I have experienced a great deal, but I don’t think I know very much. Speaking of that, I’m not sure if it is an awkward dance between humility and stupidity. I don’t seem to care very much either way.
As time starts running out for fossils like me, I seem to be more interested in simple things than the complexities of new races to run. Screw it, the first place ribbon has no appeal to me now and I am not sure it ever did.
The good news is the fact that you are reading this means the “simple” issues have been fixed, after a torturous couple of days for me. Communicating with you is without question one of the most important things I do these days. I don’t have to learn it, I know it.
For reasons of your own, if you want to hear me, in addition to reading me, my Mind the Motorcycle podcast is alive and well and getting better and better: